New Job

So I want to become a teacher.  Why?  Because I want to make a difference in society, hopefully by teaching critical thinking skills to the Youth.  If I can get tomorrow's youth to understand why and how the world works, then hopefully I can get them to understand how and why they must change society (for the better).

As it is, I recently accepted a position as a Teacher's Assistant working for a  Special Education Consortium here in Tunnels & Bridges.  I work with students on the lower end of the Autism Spectrum Disorder.  I work in a classroom that has 6 students and 3 to 4 members of staff.  From what I have been told, there are two real trouble makers in the class.  I worry about how to control them, particularly without using undue physical restraint.  You see this consortium has these strict rules on how and why their students should be controlled in a 'out-of-control situation.
This position I am currently in a 'long term sub' position.  Which means I will be working until the end of the school semester.  But I can only work 4 days a week and I must be on my toes constantly.  I have to combat both boredom and frustration with what we are doing here.  What am I doing, Why am I so fortunate and where am I supposed to go from here?

I was offered the long term position as a daily sub on the last day of training (yeeaah!) but now I am working with children that have Autism.  Special Education was so far down my list of "classes I would teach" that I am shocked I am even in this position.  What do I do from here?

Then there is the fear... Fear that I am not good enough, fear that my student wont respect me, fear that I wont go up the ladder, that I am stuck as a Daily Sub T.A. for the rest of my existence at the Consortium.

This is on top of all the other personal problems I currently have and that is not making life any easier for me whatsoever.

I know I must be strong, I am just scared that I will be the wrong type of strong or even worse.. not strong enough.

oh Lord... What do I do?